Without actually saying what it is, these are some unprecedented times, if you know what I mean. At this point, I feel numb or desensitized to the news whenever I watch it or see it pop up on my Google feed. It’s like “Oh, there were this many confirmed cases and this many deaths today? Wow, that’s crazy.” And I don’t say that to make light of it or like I don’t believe in it because I do. It has effected people around me and around the world. But at the same time, to preserve my energy, I really have to just know when to tune in and when not to.
This whole situation is stressful to say the least. I mean, I’m not alone when I say I thought 2020 was going to be my year to rocket into some sort of success. Instead, it’s a year to stand still and spend more time with loved ones and even myself. Since I work from home, times where I would be socializing with coworkers has now turned into time to think which is something I didn’t really give myself time to do before. My personality type is ESFJ and if you’re into MBTI (or Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), you’d know that means my inferior function is Introverted Thinking. If you’re not into MBTI, let me explain a little bit: that basically means I’m not good at thinking. Ha! That sounds bad to say but my dominant function is Extroverted Feeling which means I’m real tuned in to the feelings of others. Couple me being an ESFJ with being an Enneagram 2 and you got a person who’s all about others and hardly about herself. Basically, it’s hard for me to mind my business because “people may need me”. Wah!
Since I haven’t had a whole lot of access to a whole lot of people during these past few months, I’ve had a lot of time to sit and get to know Chelsie. What does Chelsie like? What does Chelsie dislike? What makes Chelsie happy? These all seem like simple things I should know and yet, up until recently, I couldn’t get down to the specifics on what these things were. I’ve seriously had to ask myself at times, “Do I not like this because sew-n-sew doesn’t like this or do I actually just not like this? Why don’t I like this?” #QTNA This time has really allowed me time to sit down and evaluate these things and I think I’m better because of it.
During this time, I’ve definitely had the potential and opportunity to just let myself go in all aspects. Just get up and do the bare minimum to get by. And towards the beginning, I was definitely doing that. I was staying up super late, eating sweets as meals, and engaging in escapism by binge-watching shows (mostly Degrassi). I was depressed and rightfully so. But thank God he put me in the right mind to see this time as an opportunity for growth and exploration. Because of this mindset, I’ve been cooking stuff I’ve never cooked before, going outside riding my scooter, and I started a podcast. In fact, starting a podcast was the catalyst for change and I’m so glad I did it. It gave me structure each week and it gave me something to look forward to, no matter how nervous I was about it.
If you follow the Weird Mom podcast Instagram, you’d know that I made an IGTV video about what this time can do for you instead of to you. If you’re in a rut, I encourage you to take a look at it and shift your perspective. Lord knows we got nothing but time on our hands, even still, so there is still time to make the best of it and come out a better you.