I Would Like to Quit Now

This past week we have been starting the process of getting Wade on a better sleep schedule in an effort to prepare him for school in a month. Even though he’ll be doing virtual school until further notice, he still has to be up at a certain time and ready to do virtual class activities. I’m gonna be honest: the boy is a night owl and ordinarily goes to sleep at 1 and 2 in the morning. Luckily, because we do not live alone, he has been able to sleep with his grandparents who are also night owls. But now, we are reeling it back in and have started with a whopping 11:00 PM bedtime. Each week the time will rise up by 30 minutes so it can truly be a transition instead of a complete shock for him.

The first couple days he cried his eyes out. He hated not being able to stay up late but, as soon as he got into bed and was able to be still, he fell asleep. By the end of the week, he was more calm going to bed which was great. The only thing is this has forced me to also be on a better schedule on top of work being even more mentally taxing than it normally is due to school starting soon (I’m an academic advisor if you didn’t know). Needless to say, when Friday rolled around, I was more than glad. Because it felt like I was running a marathon all last week between Wade, work, and taking care of my own well-being. I sometimes contemplated just giving up and starting this whole “schedule thing” closer to the start of school. But then I had to stop and realize: this is new and of course it feels uncomfortable.

I don’t know about you but I get so passionate about starting something new and then I get there and I’m like, “This is not what I signed up for. I would like to quit now.” You may feel like that when you start training at a new job or start the first day of your new workout regimen or even with becoming a parent. It’s all so exciting and you’re eager to start but then reality sets in and you wonder if you made the right choice. I’m here to tell you, ladies and gents, that that feeling will more than likely go away as you get used to the new thing. Did you know that? It’s okay; it’s easy to forget when you’re in the trenches.

Dr. Brené Brown talks about this notion of Fxcking First Times (or FFT) in her podcast “Unlocking Us”. It’s the idea of first times being so sucky. Like really sucky. Like so sucky you don’t even want to do it anymore. But that’s only because it’s new and when it becomes not new anymore and not a FFT, you’ll be glad you didn’t give in to the sorcery the transition tried to do on you to get you to quit. Before you know it, you’ll be months into whatever new thing you’re trying to start, better than ever with better strategies to get through. Who knew?

So this week, as I again continue this new routine, I will be grateful I made it through the first week and see what I could do to make things better this week now that I’m a little more familiar with how things will go.

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